Maybe this will finally allow me to heal. I had to put my wonderful, ever loyal "Baby Dog" down. After 13 years of loyal service.. in December 2003 I took Baby to the vet. He said she was getting too old, starting to have heart problems. I cried, and said I wasn't ready. I kept her on medication, in the house for 2 more months. Then I made the final decision. It was better for her to cross the bridge then to be with me. She was having too much trouble breathing. I had to let go. Baby belonged to my children who were now grown and gone. She never grew up and left me. She always protected me. I never felt the need to lock my doors with Baby around. I felt as though I were losing the last of my family, the last of my children. Baby was saved from someone who was charged with animal cruelty. She was saved by me, and my family. She was found in a cage with some other puppies. Some dead, and some alive. She was 8 weeks old. She was our loving companion for thirteen years. Since her death in 2004 I haven't left my doors unlocked. I don't feel safe anymore. Most of all, I feel as though I was the one that killed her. It was my decision. In my heart I know it was best for her. But what if she wasn't ready. Some may think I'm crazy, but for 2 weeks after her death.....I could hear her barking. It sounded like she was in the yard. It stopped after 2 weeks. In my heart I know that she knew I wasn't ready, and she knew it was her job to protect the family. She stayed as long as she could to protect us, even after death. It's been 4 years in March of 2008. I still cry everyday. I keep her picture in the livingroom. Baby was half chow and half sharpei. I have another half chow and half sharpei. She looks like Baby. After leaving the vets, and still crying like a baby. I looked up and there was a puppy version of Baby playing in someone's yard. Of course I stopped and asked if they wanted to get rid of their puppies. I picked this little Angel. As it turns out her name is now Angel. I believe she is an angel sent from God to help heal my heart. I do love her, but nothing can take the feeling of having my heart ripped out everytime I think of my Baby Dog. I know she's in Heaven at God's feet just waiting for me to join her, and I know she'll be the first one to jump when I get there. May God take care of her wonderful little soul, and may she know everyday the love that I still feel for her, and maybe one day....just maybe......I'll be able to think of her and smile instead of crying my eyes out. Thank You for listening.